I think I've tried to write this opening section multiple times now, but I'm not sure how to go about it because I've been in such a weird space creatively. Anyway, I gave up at some point so if this is vague and disjointed that was just the 2023 vibe bb!

The Postmortem

Disruptive Compassion is such a weird game to end my 2023 off on. I have a lot of...vague feelings towards it, I think. But that's also been my feelings with everything I've made in 2023. Maybe it's because it'd been a rough year, maybe those 60 hour work weeks made it impossible to be creative (hooray to working in a healthcare adjacent field lmfaO), maybe it's because being 25 was Weird. Whatever it was, I felt like I lost my creative voice throughout the entire year.

DC is something I connected with, but as though an observer stowed away behind glass and not as it's creator. It's been a feeling I've felt with everything I've written or game I've made this year (except PRETTYBOY Inc. somehow). I can't say it's a bad feeling, but as someone whose been telling stories since before I could read and has had a deep connection with each one of them, it's certainly felt like a wrong one.

It's makes writing a post mortem weird because like, what do I say in regards to the creation of something it doesn't feel like I created? It's why this is my millionth time attempting to write this up and I kind have just given up at this point. I made it, it reflects someone else, and I move on. Although it still feels weird to walk away from something that doesn't feel like it has an ounce of me in it.

With that being said, I do like this game. Sterling is a character I'm particularly fond of, and the fairytale in this was a lot of fun. I also wanted the fairytale CGs to feel like that of childrens' drawings, like it was a tale Sterling made up when he was young and finally got the chance to tell it to someone else. (This was also supposed to be alluded to in a scene I had to cut for time's sake. The fourth scene was strange interlude that may have been real or may have been Evoke having a nightmare. It's essentially Sterling condemning him for his crimes, and also built up their background's a bit more. Unfortunately I had to cut it because I had already drawn like 14ish CGs in total and 3 sprites and I did not have time for 2/3 more. Soloing short game jams in insane. Yes, I'm probably soloing the next one).

And I'm probably going to leave that there. Trying to write anything else about this right now as felt weird and disingenuous and that isn't how I feel like starting off the new year, so! I'll leave this as vague as my own feelings on it.

Jam Results + Thoughts

I'm glad, at least, I was able to join! I once more did not have the full time to do it due to finishing up online work training, so I ended up with closer to 3 days for the jam then 4. Hopefully this is not a theme for the next round and I ended up with 24 hours or something wild (Velox Formido sounds like hell btw, let's fucking goooooo). Even with my distance towards the project, it's always fun to see what I can do when I just stop thinking about things and do the thing instead! I also know I said I'd likely solo again, but I did come away from this thinking I'd like to work on a team at some point. Maybe for a Velox jam or something else. I'm not sure what I'd contribute, and I'm not sure my paranoia has been handled to that degree yet, but I think I'd like to work on it through 2024 so I'm able to do that in 2025! That's more for my 2023 wrap up though and not this lol.

I felt the need to mention it here because doing these past few jams has been really helpful in that regard. Honestly, the reason why I made it a point to play and comment on every game was specifically as a way to practice, I guess, with interacting with people in a controlled environment. It's hard for your paranoia to set your brain on fire when you tell it that commenting on games is just part of the event lol.

ANYWAY, I'm rambling, but let's talk about the results real quick. Again, I don't care too much. If anything my disconnect has made me care even less then last time, but I feel like I did a lot better then I expected!

Overall: #8

Theme Inclusion: #6

Narrative: #6

Visuals: #11

Sound: #7

I was almost top 5 in two?? categories?? And being dead center in the overall rankings is actually pretty satisfying. It's weird to look back on these rankings to where PRETTYBOY Inc. landed, though. I actually love PBI with my whole heart, despite being acutely aware of the objective issues. Whereas, with DC I'm in this weird place with, but I do think it shows some objective growth. Or at least, for the first time since starting to attempt game deving, I was able to hit that place of growth where I can recognize what I did wrong and why it was wrong as well. It took just over a year of making games to get there, but I'm finally getting there.

With all that being said, I'll leave this off on a thank you to everyone who has played and commented on this! It always means a lot when I see people that aren't me enjoy my work in some way. And also if you haven't yet, check out all the other entries to Velox Turbo as well! As someone who played all of them, I think there were are so many great games there, regardless of where they ranked! 

Hopefully I can do Velox Formidio! And here's to the chaos of a 36 hour jam where you'll need to incorporate 2 themes!!